Home sick and miserable

AHHHHH. I'm going crazy. I'm really starting to feel for shut-ins and understand why the Lord wants us to visit them. When I'm well, I'm finding a shut in to go hang out with. Yup.

I know it's early and all...

But I'm getting very excited for FALL....and for CHRISTMAS!! :)

Silly, I know! I think part of it has to do with the fact that I've done NOTHING FUN AND SUMMERY...all summer. June and July absolutely flew by. I went to one barbeque....that's the only fun summer thing I've done.

And you guys know how advertising is...they start early. So these are the things I'm excited for....

(From Scrangie's blogpost - no credit to me, all credit to her)

MAKE MERRY THIS SEASON

WITH THE SLATKIN & CO. HOLIDAY COLLECTIONS
ONLY AT BATH & BODY WORKS

THINK: The spirit of the season, captured in festive scents for the home.

WHAT THEY ARE: Scented candles inspired by the season’s most joyful scents. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Mulled cider wafting through the air. Warm pie baking in the oven. These are the scents of the season captured in the new Slatkin & Co. Holiday Candle collections. Created to evoke the warmth, togetherness and merrymaking of the holidays, Slatkin & Co. candles fill your home with the scent of celebration. This season, transform your home into a winter wonderland with your favorite scented candle, or give candles to loved ones on your list to spread holiday cheer. The season’s collections include:

Winter Cabin Collection
Invite the rich, crisp fragrances of winter into your home.

• Winter Cabin: A warm, comforting blend of creamy chestnut, crisp cedar and pine, infused with cinnamon and spicy cloves.
• Winter Wonderland: A sparkling blend of cool peppermint and fiery cinnamon with notes of crisp apple and creamy nutmeg.
• Winter Night: Fir tree, warm Cyprus and clove bud blended with cedar and a touch of incense.
• Spiced Apple Toddy: A warming blend of apple brandy and spiced plum, infused with mulled cider and tart cranberry.
• Cranberry Cider: Bright fresh cranberries mulled in warm brandy and infused with cinnamon stick.
  

Merry Mistletoe Collection
Classic holiday scents that will inspire the first kiss under the mistletoe.

• Merry Mistletoe: A magical blend of frosted cranberries, blue spruce and iced citrus
• Sleigh Ride: Frosted juniper, green noble fir and rosemary blended to evoke a morning sleigh ride
• Deck the Halls: A blend of fresh green balsam, red berries and cinnamon bark, infused with honey and sandalwood
  

Holiday Treats Collection
Decadent, mouthwatering scents that will satisfy the sweetest tooth season.

• Dark Chocolate Mint: A luscious blend of dark chocolate shavings and pure peppermint, layered with rich vanilla cream and a touch of caramel.
• Gingerbread: The perfect blend of spicy ginger, rich buttercream and brown sugar topped with whipped vanilla frosting.
• Holiday Gumdrop: A bright blend of cinnamon stick and peppermint bark infused with vanilla and a touch of anise.
• Candied Sugar Plum: Rich, sugared plums and boysenberries blended with sweet orange, cinnamon leaf and a touch of apple.
• Marshmallow Peppermint: A delicious blend of sweet peppermint, fluffy marshmallow cream and rich vanilla cupcake.
  

WHAT THEY COST: 1.6 oz ($3.50), 4 oz ($9.50), 14.5 oz ($19.50)

Decorative Sleeves & Luminaries


Dress up your favorite holiday Slatkin & Co. scents with sleek, sophisticated candle sleeves. In a variety of classic holiday scenes including snowflakes, winter village, gingerbread and traditional quilt designs, these beautiful accents make for stunning centerpieces and home decorations. ($3.50 - $15.00)



Available in Bath & Body Works October 2011 – December 2011

Don't those all sound AMAZING?!?! I adore the Slatkin & co candles. They don't last very long but they smell amazing. Chris and I just bought a fragrance called "Fireside" that we absolutely adore. :) Check that one out too.

I am STOKED for fall parties. I think part of why I'm excited for these seasons is because it will be Chris and my second round for fall and winter. Last year, I was in hibernation - learning how to survive. Now, I'm out of that funk and ready to celebrate!

Song for Abby

http://youtu.be/4CWIjGaHXIs

Ch-ch-ch-ch-check it out.

Leaving Work at Work

I'm attempting to

leave.

work.

at.work.

I'm realizing that a shift of priorities is in order. I want to move forward in my job, which the Lord has enabled me to do. After 5 months, I've been promoted to "MSR2' which is one step above where I'm at now. Hooray! Thanks, Jesus.

On the other hand, I do recognize that there are far more important things than work.

I'm reading "Ghostwalker" which is a Forgotten Realms fantasy novel. I'm pretty sure I'm becoming more and more of my husband's dream girl with every nerdy fantasy move. I'm really loving the book though, truth be told. :)

Love Jesus, love Chris, love Abby, love family.

Little Kindnesses

Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit have been showing me kindnesses lately. I picture them as little baskets of goodness dropped from heaven that float down to me, held up by little parachutes. I have felt so refreshed by these kisses of goodness that I know come from my Heavenly Father.

The first thing in this series of kindnesses has come in the form of hours at work. In June, I really overextended myself financially. I didn't even keep track of my spending and ended up wasting nearly $400 on extra stuff, beyond our necessities. Some things were one time expenses like stuff we needed for our bicycles. But most of that $400 came from stupid things like...oh, 20 coffees? at least 4 or 5 expensive meals out? I honestly didn't take care of our budget and we got broke! I still feel like we're recovering from that. However, in the midst of my stupidity, the Lord has reached out to me. It came in the form of meetings at work that would mean coming to work 45 minutes early. Then, there was a paid holiday which led to a busy week which meant not only was I working more than my 34.75 hours a week, I actually earned 1.75 hours of overtime! The Lord has been graciously giving me opportunities to work in the job he has provided for me.
He also gave me a makeup gig for my lovely friend Kara who got married last week. That was another $40 in my pocket. Thank you, Jesus.

The next little kindness was a coupon card that my coworker gave to me. Yes, to others this might seem like a small thing. But it was one of those coupons that you buy for $10 from the boyscouts and they have "buy one, get one free"s on pretty much EVERYPLACEIEVERWANTTOGO. She just gave it to me to be kind. And that blessed me.

The next parachute that fell graciously in my lap was another small-but-big something. Another coworker had won a $25 Dutch Bros gift card at a baby shower she and I went to. She had bought a couple coffees with it but decided she didn't like DBros. "Oh, I'll give it to my husband," she said and then thought a moment before handing it to me. "Really? Are you sure?" I asked, hesitant to take something her hubby could enjoy. "No, I'm sure, you have it." She said. We hugged and I thanked her for giving me about $19 in free coffee. That's more money in our pockets to make up for my foolishness and also provide for a coffee habit that is unavoidable.
What a simple and kind act of generosity.

Today I went to Weight Watchers. A new meeting for me, as I usually go on Saturday mornings but can hardly stomach the 7am alarm that wakes me after usually a long tiring week. I tried to convince Chris to insist I stay home and hang out with him before work, but instead, he insisted I go to weight watchers. He's not pushy in the slightest about my weight loss ambitions. In actuality, he is the first person to make me feel beautiful and perfect in the body I live in. HOwever, he understands how important a healthy weight is to a long life. So begrudgingly, I went.

Now, the leader of this meeting was always a little fruity - or so I thought. Back in 2009 in Round 1 of WW, she had seemed like a new ager with lots of crazy ideas.. I realized today that I was mistaken. My second journey with WW has not been so successful. No fault to the plan as I know it to work fabulously if you actually....well, follow the plan. I've been paying monthly since January of this year and have managed to lose...oh wait, excuse me, I mistyped. I've managed to GAIN 3 pounds. Yep, $40 per month to go to weight watchers and gain weight. Woopee!
I've wrestled with the I-should-just-quit-this-stupid-thing-i-cant-do-it-anyway's. But I know if I quit, I'll never ever lose this weight. So I went back. The leader had been visiting with a guy ahead of me and she seemed genuinely interested and caring in regards to his situation. So when I went up to weigh in, I explained my journey so far. In 2009, I lost 40 pounds with Weight Watchers. It seemed so easy then. I lived at home, worked 20 hours a week and went to school part time. Life was easy-peasy. Then in 2010, I maintained during my 6 month engagement and then promptly began gaining the weight back. Now that it's July 2011, I've gained about 23 pounds back of that 40 that I lost. I didn't expect myself to feel so fragile when I began explaining this to Anne, the leader. But I felt tears start to sting my eyes as I faced how hopeless I was feeling. "I just can't seem to get my head in the game this time. My life is so much different now." That's the truth. I'm married, I live on my own and work a nearly-full time job while going to school. My laundry is overtaking my life and I simply can't seem to find the mental energy to watch what I eat. Anne just smiled at me, her gray eyes twinkling. "What you need to internalize, Rachel, is that you aren't the same person now that you were then." It's going to be different this time since she's right - the eyes I look through now see things far differently than they did back in 2009. Anne encouraged me to go back to the basics: "What does that mean for you, Rachel?" I thought for a moment...."Tracking? I used to be really good at it." Anne encouraged me to write down what I was eating, regardless of point values. "Just write it down. For those of you starting at Ground Zero, simply writing down what you eat and leaving the points values off, this will be a good place for you to start."

Anne shared with me so much gentleness, understanding and encouragement. She didn't make me feel guilty for not following the plan or for feeling helpless. She commended me for showing up, for not quitting and for taking a breath before starting again. "Keep coming," she encouraged me. Anne's kindness felt like it came straight from the generous hand of my Father. I needed that today and he generously showed me the kindness I needed so desperately.

Anne introduced me to the group at the meeting. Mostly old people with kind faces. One woman said, as Anne introduced me, "Oh she's so cute!" !!!!! What a kind thing to say! Anne agreed saying, "That's what I told her, she's looks so happy!" - "She's glowing!" another person said. Wow! So many kind words. They felt like salve on my fragile heart. Those words floated down to me in the parachute from heaven. Kindness fell in my lap.

I am so grateful for Jesus, for God my Father and for my friend and comforter, the Holy Spirit. I don't often think of them as 3 but I find comfort in understanding the roles that each part of this Triune God play. I feel loved by God today. "I love you, Rachel." He says to me. "I haven't forgotten you and I will take care of you." What a rich blessing, Lord. I am so grateful that this is the God I serve.

There's a really awesome song on the radio right now that has been ministering to me this week. Here are the lyrics to "Yes" by John Waller.

Ask, it shall be given to you
Seek and you will find
Knock and the door will open
And that's a promise

He said He'll finish the work He started in you
Your needs He will supply
He'll never leave you nor forsake you
And that's a promise

It's a guarantee
It's a beautiful thing
He delights to keep His word

God says yes to His promises
Take Him at His word
Yeah, you can believe it
God says yes to a child-like faith
When we claim everything He died to give
God says yes

He said, come all you weary ones
And He will give you rest
His strength is perfect in our weakness
And that's a promise

My prayer for you this week is that the Lord will surprise and delight you with His goodness, and that you will truly know that He cares for you.

Can I tell you something?

Dear **** (You know who you are!)

I just wanted to write to you and tell you exactly what I want to say.

You. Are. A. Wonderful. Person.

If anything has broken my heart the most, it's the suffering that you've had to face. Suffering that was done to you and the things that you have done to yourself.

You.

Deserve.

So.

Much.

Better.

Look at your body.

Look at it for what it is.

An amazing thing, heart pumping, blood in veins, lungs filled and emptied.

You weren't an accident, you weren't a mistake.

The things you hate about you

desperately

deserve

to

be

loved.

YOU

deserve to be loved.

You are smart.

You are funny.

You are inspiring.

You are loved, dearly and completely.

I know most people don't want to hear Jesus talk but can I tell you something?

Jesus is real. He didn't do the hurt to you. I don't know why he's let you suffer so long and I pray for you so much that Jesus would free you from the weight you feel on your heart and the hurts that are suffocating out your joy. You don't deserve it. At all.

I can't answer for God as to why he hasn't just rescued you right out of what you're dealing with, the hurt, the lack, the damage.

But I want you to know something that He reminds me of every day, especially when I think of you and how special you are.

He made every beautiful thing I see in you.

Your nurturing spirit, your encouragement, your compassion. Your care for the underdog, your appreciation of the things that other people overlook. Your creativity, your talent, your gift for creating beautiful things out of materials that probably would have been thrown away.

You know what you are?

You're a rescuer, a rehabilitator.

I want you to know that Jesus didn't cause your pain. If you're mad at him, it's okay - he can take it and he's not scared away by the questions you have of him.

I want you so badly to see that He's real and that He loves you.

All the amazing things you are are a reflection of Him and His beauty. You may not see it the same way I see it. You may not see God as compassionate and loving. But I hope someday that you do see it. That you do feel his love like warm tea filling your belly. Like the bed and blankets that hold you when you're scared or sad or lonely or panicked. Like the music that calms you.

The blades that make the panic pass or the binges that feed that emptiness will

never.

truly.

love.

you.

They don't serve you, they hurt you.

They don't fill you, they empty you.

They don't soothe you, they.

are.

ruining.

you.

I wish with every part of me that I could take these things away from you, to protect you from them, to rid you of them and make you free.

Know that I love you.

Know that Jesus Chris is real and he loves you.

Know that I'll love you even if it takes you some time to realize the truth about Jesus.

Not for me, not for anyone else. But I hope that you do feel his love today and know that when you suffer, he suffers too.

I'm sorry if any of this sounds cheesy but please know that I love you dearly. You are and will always be one of the most important people in my book. When you hurt, I hurt too.

Love you

Rachel

Um...how do I get out from under this cloud?

Lately, I've felt like I've been walking with a cloud over my head. I'm overwhelmed, I'm sad, the pile of clothes, both dirty and clean, have been piling up and my bathroom is in dire need of cleaning. My homework stacks up too all while I try to count the points of food that go into my mouth. Oh did I mention I'm still married and have a husband with...needs? Yeah, I know! How dare he need a wife that actually pays attention to him! Demanding!

So ever since monday started, i've been dying for the week to be over. Guess what? It's Saturday and that stupid cloud is hanging around.

I need Jesus to refresh me. A nap probably won't hurt either.