Look toward Heaven

I have such an urgency to tell everyone:

Stop looking down here, Look toward heaven.

The things we feel are important down here aren't as important. I tend to care about things that should just be brushed off and forgotten. Now, in an of itself, that sounds noble. But I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the things that I waste my emotional energy on. Things such as: the imagined things I feel others think about me. This is a huge one. I was going to continue listing things but realized that truly, this is a huge struggle for me. I worry that people think my shoes are stupid because they really shouldn't go with skirts but I don't have any good shoes for skirts so I wear the shoes I have with skirts because I LOVE skirts and I must, in fact, wear shoes. I worry about my hair and skin a lot. I worry about what my neighbors think of me. I worry about what my friends think of me, if I'm bugging them or if they feel like I'm ignoring them. I worry about being a good wife, if I'm cleaning enough, if I'm being sexy enough, if I'm just dead tired but my house is a disaster - does that mean I'm lazy? I worry about my job - how my coworkers are perceiving me, I dwell on little errors I make at work. I dwell on conversations I've had and replay the parts I wish I could change. I dwell on the days I worked out and how I should have pushed harder. I dwell on the days I don't work out and say I should have. I dwell on the food I did and didn't eat and judge myself according to the choices I'm making.

So all in all....would you say I'm spending my energy wisely?

no.

just a big fat no on that one.

I spent some time worshipping Jesus on guitar. Oh, how I realize that THAT is what I am made for. Over the last couple of years, I've neglected music. Others are more talented than me, I say. I'm not very good. This will never go any where.

So I stopped. I stopped playing, I stopped singing. In the business of life and the overwhelming new adventures I've started in the last year, my music...died. And I think this might be a good thing. Because now I have changed. And as I pick my guitar back up and sing to the Lord, I realize that this. is. what. i. am. made. for. To worship the Lord and encourage others to worship him, too. To remind people of who God is. To encourage them. To give them a moment to breathe. I feel so strongly that God is leading me in that direction and I'm excited to see where he takes it. I'm realizing that I don't need to be the best musician and song writer in the world. I don't need to "bring something to the table that no one has brought before.' The bottom line is that God is asking me to bring him music as my offering and I need to be obedient.

Lord, I pray for opportunities to offer my worship to You. I feel like round 2 of worshipping will be different than it was when I led in high school. I sure have changed a lot. I'm realizing that God is calling that out of me again. Now is the season.

I'm thinking about writing a worship album. Using that as motivation to write, to get the music inside of me out, to glorify God and encourage others.

So, thats what I wanted to get out.

Updates?

I'm training for my first 5k. I'm back at Weight Watchers and I'm going to succeed this time. Why? Because I will NEVER EVER quit!

Lord, all glory to you. Focus my eyes on heaven, not on earth. There are much more important things that deserve my attention and I pray for the wisdom and discernment to hear, to receive and to obey.

In Jesus's name,

Amen.